On Sunday we visited a museum and I noticed these keychains below for sale. I don't need a new keychain but it's a habit to always check for my name whenever I see personalized souvenirs. My name, Gina, isn't that common but it's also not THAT uncommon. Growing up I think there was exactly ONE time I found something with my name on it. It was a bicycle license plate from Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Oh hell yeah, you can bet I had my parents buy that for me. My sister has a name that was popular in the 70's so she had no problem finding all manner of flash-and-trash with her name on it. Anyway, I started checking the letter "G" section and noticed this:
I took this week off from work so my son and I could have a special "fun" week together. Also, it annoyed me on principle to pay for five days of summer camp but only get four (because of the Independence Day holiday being observed on Friday). I figured I might as well use the money that would have gone for camp tuition to do fun things. Today is only Tuesday and I've already blown through MUCH more money than if my son had just gone to camp. Oh well. I figure he's making good memories while he empties out my wallet. On Sunday we visited a museum and I noticed these keychains below for sale. I don't need a new keychain but it's a habit to always check for my name whenever I see personalized souvenirs. My name, Gina, isn't that common but it's also not THAT uncommon. Growing up I think there was exactly ONE time I found something with my name on it. It was a bicycle license plate from Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Oh hell yeah, you can bet I had my parents buy that for me. My sister has a name that was popular in the 70's so she had no problem finding all manner of flash-and-trash with her name on it. Anyway, I started checking the letter "G" section and noticed this: Really museum gift shop? Really!?! You don't have my name but you have Ethel, Eugene,Fred, Gladys, Harold and Hazel. I'm sorry to say this but I think your target keychain demographic is either now residing in cemeteries or too old to get out and visit museums. And they sure as hell aren't driving cars by this point. THEY DON'T NEED KEYCHAINS! If you'll notice they have both HARRY AND HAROLD! Give me a break. That's the same effin' name. I checked online and the peak popularity for the name Gladys was 1920. For some reason I find this annoying. In case you hadn't noticed. New topic-- on Monday I took my son to the zoo and we were there nearly the entire day. It was fun for the most part until pop-up afternoon thunderstorms made us take cover several times. Which also meant that the little waterpark that's inside the zoo was closed down for safety. Which meant that I packed around my son's swimsuit and a towel in my purse all day for nothing. Yay. Anyway, check out the expression on this goat's face: The zoo also had a rope-climbing obstacle course which my son wanted to try for the first time: After he started climbing I was like, "Oh look! It's the most precious thing in my life being kept alive by a nylon rope and a metal clip. And I paid good money for this." OK, I know that the risk of him being hurt was very small but it's kind of ironic that I've done everything in my power to keep him safe up until this point in his life only to let a stranger put a harness on him and let him loose on tightropes. He actually did fall off a beam once and the harness caught him. He scraped his ankle though and after that he was done climbing. Later I happened to think to ask him, "Was there a net under you?" He looked at me like I was crazy and said no. Future historians will find these old photos and think there was an entire generation of bad parents putting their kids into harm's way for no good reason. While my son was climbing, I took the opportunity to check my email on my phone and noticed this: My son will start second grade in August. I love the mental image of making his teacher's acquaintance with this horrible email address. The odds are good it would end up in her spam email and later there would be some confusion. I would say, "Check your spam folder. For some reason a lot of my emails end up there." Can you imagine the look on her face when she realized that "FastSnatch" referred to me? Then she would be extra nice to my son for the rest of the year because she would think that he has a terrible mother. (I have no intention of doing this, don't worry.). Just an FYI that since my normal routine is "off" this week, my posts may be sporadic and at odd times ('cause lazy). For example, I'm writing this while my son plays at an indoor trampoline facility. I'm one of several parents working on laptops. It probably looks like I'm doing real work. Little do people know that I'm posting insane nonsense on the interwebs. Next I'm going to get on my phone and start yelling, "Goddammit Carol, I told you I needed those reports my noon today! I don't care if you were at your Mom's chemo session this morning! One more incident like this and you're fired." (I won't actually be doing this. I just like to imagine making people feel awkward. Yes, I am aware that there's probably something wrong with me.).
12 Comments
6/30/2015 08:14:43 am
The look on the goat's face--the one that so obviously says, "Yes, right there!"--was the second thing I noticed after the keychains for Ethel. Ethel. I had an aunt Ethel. She was a hundred and fifty three when I met her.
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Gina
6/30/2015 10:51:43 am
Is Aunt Ethel still alive? Because I totally know where you can buy a keychain for her. Maybe she can use it to hold her "LifeAlert" call tag. Is that mean? Actually, my Mamaw used to wear hear LifeAlert key-fob thing on a necklace around her neck which is probably better than a key chain.
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Christopher
7/1/2015 04:03:45 am
Aunt Ethel is long departed, but I think it would be hilarious to get one of those keychains, attach some old keys to it, drop it on her grave, and then add a fake hand coming out of the ground reaching for the keys. Wait, why does it even have to be Aunt Ethel? We could do that with just about anybody's grave.
Gina
6/30/2015 10:53:50 am
I actually thought of your Gerald when I saw that name! Still, it's not a name you see very often. And it kind of pisses me off that Gerald is a keychain choice but Gina isn't. And I can see your point on the Harry/Harold thing. But again, those a-holes are getting TWO keychain choices but not a one for me. :(
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6/30/2015 10:05:13 am
There are about fifty gazillion spellings of my name and I swear souvenir companies just spin a roulette wheel to decide which one to use on their products. (Spoiler alert: I never win.)
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Gina
6/30/2015 10:57:01 am
Let's see: "True". "Tru". "Troo". You're right, there are a lot of ways to spell your first name.
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TwerlaP
6/30/2015 02:26:12 pm
My aunts name was Gladys(actually she may still be alive. IDK. My other aunt from that side was named Viola. I never knew this cuz everyone called her ola(which is not much better).
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Gina
6/30/2015 02:31:06 pm
If I'm ever at that museum again I'll check for the name Twerla. BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY HAVE IT! Along with Viola. My great-grandmother's name was Evangaline. They called her Vangie. Again, both names are probably there. But not mine! This may be a bit of a sore spot for me. (ha).
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Ellen
6/30/2015 03:57:31 pm
You are friggin hilarious...and you'll never see "Ellen".on a keychain or anything else...guess we're just not that personal??
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Gina
7/1/2015 02:00:02 am
Thanks Ellen! You're pretty hilarious yourself! Yeah, your name probably is hard to find as well. I mean, you'd assume that the keychain names would be chosen based on the top 100 or 50 popular names in the US. Which means in a few years there will a TON of Jacksons/Jaxsons, Cameron/Camryns, Aidens, etc. With all the unusual spellings that are common now, souvenir makers are going to have a hard time...
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Gina
7/1/2015 08:04:36 am
Christopher-- I like both your hand-out-of-the grave idea as well as the meth lab comment for house hunting. Why do we keep coming up with great ideas but no way to execute them? So annoying...
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