From: Gina
Sent: March 09, 2015 2:35 PM
Subject: This is just mean
From a distance saw a red box on the Marketing food table. Thought it was a box of cookies or something. Was like, “Yay sugar!”. How wrong I was. What kind of a**hole would do this?
I want to warn you right away that today's post is full of completely unrelated random nonsense. I know that most (read: normal) people write blog posts about one particular topic (and sometimes I try to do that too) but today everything I'm writing about is just random. There's no other way to describe it. I can't even find one particular theme to tie it all together. So sorry about that. However, where else can you can read about snowmen with loose bowels or items for sale such as the "ass bra"? This is a special place. You're welcome. This morning I sent this text: Yes, I put a "hee-hee" after writing that my husband was detained by security. It's not the fact that he was detained; it was the fact that a stupid stuffed animal caused him to be viewed as a potential terrorist threat. Also, just as an FYI, I don't collect stuffed animals or anything. I've just always loved the Russian children's character "Cheburashka". This is completely unrelated, but one of funniest things I've ever seen in my life was a clip on YouTube where someone in Russia took the show "Cheburashka" and dubbed in the most filthy, vile language instead of the usual cute words you'd hear. If it had English subtitles, I would include a link so you could see it yourself. It would like be hearing Winnie-the-Pooh speaking in the voice of Samuel L. Jackson: "I have a rumbly in my tummy motherfuckas". Last night I sent this text: I can't even really make fun of him for getting excited about lunch because I know I'm the same way (and aren't we all, really?). For example if I have lunch plans to eat Thai food with my friend Marge, that whole morning I'm like: "Hooray Thai food! And yay I get to spend an hour with Marge!". Truly it is the little things in life that make us happy. Now that winter is almost to an end, I've been trying to keep an eye on end-of-the-season sales so I can put back winter clothes for my son for next year. Here's a better view of what Amazon suggested for me: So apparently ass bras are a thing. Who knew? The following incident happened Monday afternoon at work. I was compelled to send this email: From: Gina Sent: March 09, 2015 2:35 PM Subject: This is just mean From a distance saw a red box on the Marketing food table. Thought it was a box of cookies or something. Was like, “Yay sugar!”. How wrong I was. What kind of a**hole would do this? What's funny is that one of my email recipients had also seen this earlier and had the same "Yay food!" reaction. So it wasn't just me who was disappointed. I should have complained to HR or something (kidding). Last week our fair city received a shit-ton (approximately) of snow. On Saturday my husband and son made a snowman in the backyard. I usually like to do that kind of stuff, but after shoveling the before mentioned shit-ton of snow from our driveway on Thursday and Friday, I had no more desire to play in the snow. One of our neighbors, in a feat of engineering genius, built a cool snow "arch" that you had to walk through to get to the front door. We saw another house that built FOUR separate large snowmen and each one was decorated creatively. There was even a "pirate" snowman which was our favorite. Here's what our snowman looked like: Our snowman had twigs for arms and a spinning wheel as a hat. And he looked like he need to wear adult diapers. Someone suggested hanging toilet paper from his arms. I thought that was a clever idea but my son didn't see the humor; he was embarrassed by the brown at the bottom of the snowman. I thought it was funny. But then again, I have the sense of humor of a twelve-year old boy, so yeah...
4 Comments
Gina
3/12/2015 05:00:33 am
I'm glad it made you laugh! The ass bra made me laugh too. It was so unexpected. You really can find just about anything for sale in the world on Amazon. Sometime the suggested items are hilarious.
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Sheryl
3/28/2015 08:28:11 am
I love the snowman - like a Teletubby from the wrong side of the tracks. He just needs a good name -- Poopy Woopy, perhaps?
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Gina
3/28/2015 09:31:19 am
I love "Poopy Woopy" and would have totally stolen that name if I'd heard it at the time. I'll keep it in my back pocket for next year's snowman...
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GinaI'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny. Archives
November 2016
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