Next is an example of how hard it is to get a decent photo of my child anywhere. He sees every photo-taking opportunity as a chance to be a comedian. Here's photo that I took in Napa:
Full disclosure-- I used the words "part seventeen" above but I don't actually remember how many other times I've used the title "Kids Being Dicks" in past posts. Perhaps just once or twice. Maybe it just FEELS like I've written about this topic at least sixteen times in the past. It's a recurring theme in my life. By the way, my boss likes to say that kids are dicks but it's their parents who make them that way. There's probably some truth to that statement. In any case, here are some examples of what it's like to live in my world: Dear future daughter-in-law -- I'm doing the best I can. Really and truly. He thinks farts are funny. And sometimes they are. But when my son farts into my pillow right before I go to bed, you know what? I fail to see the humor in that situation. I'm hoping and praying that when you are married he will leave the room and not pass gas in your presence. No guarantees though. (Which reminds me, one of my aunts told me long ago that she knew the honeymoon was over with her husband when he stopped stepping outside to fart. Ahhh, romance.) We had this moment last week: I have to tell you that no one in our house even DRINKS whiskey. We mostly buy wine and beer (along with the occasional bottle of vodka, which is a requirement since there is a Russian living in the household). Still he's already learned about whiskey and knows it's something that's not appropriate for kids. The stinker... This next incident happened Friday night. If a seven-year old gets ahold of your iPad, activates the "voice to text" feature and then starts yelling nonsense words into the microphone, this is the result. My friend Ivory thought I was having a stroke or something: Next is an example of how hard it is to get a decent photo of my child anywhere. He sees every photo-taking opportunity as a chance to be a comedian. Here's photo that I took in Napa: At some point I could do an entire post of ruined photos. That is, photos that should have been nice but instead show my son making a goofy or insane expression on his face. It's pretty much 90% of my photo library. Speaking of insane, read below about a bedtime fear that my son has developed: Other kids are afraid of monsters under their bed. My kid is afraid of the "Hapsburg Jaw". That sounds about right. OK, last thing is something that my son wrote on the second day of school last week. The teacher is trying to get to know all the kids so she had them fill out this sheet of paper. In case it's hard to read, the part under the red arrow says, "I wish that no one is homeless". God love him. It breaks my heart. If you're wondering why he would even think of such a thing, when we were in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago we saw a HUGE number of homeless people. It really made an impression on all of us. My son saw a homeless man reach into a trashcan and pull out something to eat. We walked by a children's playground, which was FULL of little kids, and it was surrounded by homeless men sleeping on benches. At one point I saw a woman with a baby in a stroller next to group of homeless people and I never could tell if she was homeless herself or if she had just stopped to sit on a bench so that she could make a phone call. In any case, it was a good reminder to all of us to appreciate the blessings in our life. I guess the take-away from this post is that even when my son displays less than desirable behavior, I need to remember that at heart he's still a good little kid. Which is probably true for most of us...
8 Comments
8/17/2015 10:48:50 am
There is a diamond in the rough there. And the diamond makes up hilarious songs about whiskey. If it's any consolation sometimes when I was a kid I'd pretend I was drunk or that if I had a soft drink it was really alcohol. I'd put a little Coke and a little Sprite in a short glass so it looked like a whiskey and soda. And I turned out all ri...okay, I'm beginning to think I'm not the best example.
Reply
Gina
8/17/2015 12:04:10 pm
Yeah, diamond in the rough is one way of looking at it. Speaking of songs, my son brought home a poster that he has to fill out called "All About Me". For the question, what's your favorite song he said he's going to put "I like big butts and I cannot lie" (I know that's not the real title). I told him, "That's not appropriate you know". I don't think he'll do it but there's a tiny part of me that worried he WILL just to be funny. That will be a fun phone call with his teacher...
Reply
Ok, FIRST OF ALL, farting on someone's pillow is so not cool. That can give you pink eye! I have to admit that I am a little jealous of your kid in the tomato photo because I'd totally dry hump a basket of tomatoes in broad daylight if it were socially acceptable. And, your kiddo is super rad. What a sweetheart.
Reply
Gina
8/18/2015 01:33:09 am
Yeah, only kids and animals can get away with dry humping anything in public. They're so lucky. And that's exactly what he was doing by the way. He makes me proud... (ha).
Reply
8/18/2015 09:09:59 am
It's a good thing my coworker's on lunch because I completely lost it the second your kidlet gained control of your iPad.
Reply
Gina
8/18/2015 11:43:30 am
Glad your laughter didn't embarrass you in front of your co-workers. Often I'm glad that I am alone in an office because I can giggle like an insane schoolgirl all that I want and I don't bother anyone. Except for my boss but he's used to me by now.
Reply
8/22/2015 05:36:26 am
That's a fuck load of tomatoes!
Reply
Gina
8/22/2015 08:17:36 am
I had originally thought it was a shit ton of tomatoes but on second thought it IS more like a fuck load. Your insightful and thought-provoking comments are always appreciated Kristine. Well done!
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
GinaI'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny. Archives
November 2016
CONTACT INFO:
[email protected] TWITTER: @Suzdal92
FACEBOOK:
Personal Page HERE Blog Page HERE (Note--I only joined FB in January 2016. Come be my friend, if you want, and like my page before I get fed up with the whole thing and delete my FB account. Kidding. Maybe.) |