On Friday I happened to be in the part of town where the bakery that made my wedding cake is located. Since my 20th wedding anniversary is only days away, I thought it would be symbolic to buy our anniversary cake there (and freeze it). I was limited in my choices to the cakes on hand, so blue and peach would not have been my first choice in colors but it's not a big deal. This place makes great cake, no matter what color the icing (mmmmmmmm..... cake. You heard Homer Simpson's voice just then didn't you? I did.)
It's a pretty big deal to make it to 20 years nowadays. I know a guy who's had three wives in the same amount of time that I've been married (fortunately his third wife seems like a keeper). This is not news to anyone who is married, but being married is really effing hard. I feel like I deserve a medal and a parade-- something big. There's a tweet that I favorited over a year ago which I absolutely love. I think somebody should make a card with this sentiment. I would buy out the entire stash and give them to anyone getting engaged or married:
Those words just strike a chord of truth in me. Of course, if you're a newlywed, you're not going to listen to anyone's advice anyway. You're not like other couples! You'll have Hot Sex Sunday, where you do it three times in a day, FOREVER. It's like having kids. Everyone tells you it's hard and your mind processes those words but you have no freakin' idea how hard it really is until you actually live through it. Our kid is now six and I have to admit I feel both sorry and smug when I see parents with babies. We flew to Florida this summer and it seemed like half the flight was full of families with small children. As we walked up the jetway after we landed, all the parents who had to gate check strollers and car seats waited in a big group for their baby gear to arrive. I remember those days all too well. I couldn't help but think "suckahs!" as I passed them by and be glad it wasn't me.
Speaking of kids, I saw this ad in the newspaper today:
Speaking of kids, I saw this ad in the newspaper today:
I know this boy is supposed to be dressed as a skeleton, but the first thing my mind thinks is "evil clown child". This ad combines two things that I hate-- clowns and Chuck E. Cheese's. Every time I have to take my kid to a birthday party at that place, I always feel like I should be nominated for sainthood afterwards. It tries my patience in every possible way. Everything is sticky and too bright and too noisy. I always feel like I might get a migraine if I stay too long. It also seems like we always get sick after going there. My cousin says it's the same with her kids. Chuck E Cheese's is just a giant petri dish. Regarding clowns, I have in no way ever tried to prejudice my son against them. However, one time when he was around three he confided in me as I gave him a bath, "I don't really like clowns." It was like he was sharing a shameful secret. I told him that it was OK; I don't like clowns either. It was kind of a special bonding moment for us.
I hope you've enjoyed my views on three topics that are in no way connected at all. If you asked someone, "Could you talk about marriage, evil clowns and Chuck E.Cheese in a way that is sort of connected?", they'd think it couldn't be done. Yet it can be! In advance- you're welcome.
I hope you've enjoyed my views on three topics that are in no way connected at all. If you asked someone, "Could you talk about marriage, evil clowns and Chuck E.Cheese in a way that is sort of connected?", they'd think it couldn't be done. Yet it can be! In advance- you're welcome.